by Dotted Green Sparrow
I have always struggled with my place in this world. In fact, the greatest of these battles were the ones I fought with myself. The question “am I meant to be here?” has been a frequent resident in my head. Sometimes I direct that question to God; most times just to myself. I knew the answer has always been yes…
Today is no different. On board a plane as it makes its way higher up the sky I see the grandeur and the vastness of creation. I can’t help but see myself smaller than the tiniest crumb of the littlest fragment of dust. And the same question arises in my head. Am I meant to be here at this moment? Does my existence even make a difference?
I’d like to believe I choose to be where God leads me. Although I admit most times I have no clue why He is taking me where He is taking me. All I need to know is God does not only know what’s best for me, but that He truly wants the best for me and will give the best for me.
I used to think that the grandness of creation is trying to make me feel small. Now I know better. I know that I am indeed small. What creation is telling me is that they were created by a great God, as am I. A tiny me with a great God is in need of nothing else. He is all I need. There is nothing He cannot give me.
Contemplating on the greatness of my Maker makes my heart want to burst into song. God is great. I know it. I believe it. I bowed my head in prayer asking God for forgiveness “I’m sorry Lord if I haven’t praised you near enough.”
The night sky, the time when the cosmos is visible, has a profound effect on me. No one yet knows how big the universe really is. Most of it is still undiscovered. Much like what God has planned for the rest of my life. The still unknown parts of the universe tell me that God intended me to be a part of something greater than what I can conceive for myself. It shouldn’t matter whether or not my existence matters to anyone. I matter to God. He has placed me where I am where He chose to love me the way He wants to love me.
I direct my attention to the eternal mountains, the vast wilderness, and the limitless sky. I feel tiny amidst all these but I am greatly assured that if God is able to sustain all these giants of creation then there is no question that He can fill the tiny me to overflowing. When I get to heaven, I will run out of needs and God’s love will still fill me.