Ready or Not
by Dotted Green Sparrow
I found myself watching the Sound of Music for the third time this week. I literally have seen this movie hundreds of times. This, among others, seems to take me back to the day I first saw this film with my siblings, to that decade before the world considered us adults.
I love reliving the memories of my childhood. My parents’ house where I grew up is no longer in the best condition but I stay there whenever we’re on vacation. I like going home. And I like going home there. I remember how safe I felt within its walls and how sure I was that I am in the company of people who accept me. I played a lot and laughed a lot in that house.
Once my Dad found me staring up the huge mango tree in the backyard, he thought I was looking out for ripe fruits. I wasn’t. I was reminiscing of the many summer hours I spent up that tree. I remember how peaceful it was up there and how comfortable the branches were to sit on and even sleep on sometimes. At one point I swear I felt the tree breathe with me. I felt connected.
I chanced upon a Makahiya plant for the first time again in 15 years. I learned patience and hopefulness from this plant. It’s a perennial herb with compound leaves that fold inward and droop when touched. Seemingly bashful – hence the name Makahiya, derived from the Tagalog word for shy. I remember spending hours in a field close to home touching all the Makahiya leaves I could find. When all the leaves are folded I would sit still in patience and with great amounts of hopefulness watch them unfold slowly. And then I’ll do it all over again.
I grew up fine into a responsible adult I guess. But I did felt unprepared for adulthood. Unfortunately, ready or not it happens to everyone. I still keep a set of jackstones in my sock drawer. I think I’m just getting older but I haven’t really done a lot of growing up yet. I kinda like it like that. I am grateful that happy is what happens to me whenever childhood comes to mind. Not everyone is as lucky, ready or not…